Thursday, September 04, 2008

Political Masturbation...

The Good News:
Tonight ends 2 weeks of political foreplay commonly know as the Convention Season

The Bad News:
There are still 2 months of name calling, pandering, posturing, and ads telling how evil the "other guy" is and how he is going to destroy America and life as we know it.

The Even Worse News:
Nothing pressing like oh lets say the tanking economy, the war, and pretty much every other problem are not going to be addressed in a constructive manner.
Now I have only followed the conventions from what I read on the news sites but I can pretty much sum up both parties conventions:

The Republicans are evil warmongering people who don't care about the little guy and want to anally rape your grandparents and make them eat dog food while they count their fat stacks of cash on their backs from BIG OIL

The Democrats are anti-patriotic whiners who will tax you broke and bend over backwards to appease anyone who even thinks about pointing a squirt gun in the direction of the U.S. while they make sure that you can't drive your Hummer without taking out a 3rd and 4th Mortgage.

Now I know that the reason for the Conventions are to rally the base of the party and while throwing one heck of a kegger. But when do they start trying to convince me who I should vote for? I still haven't made up my mind...
Do I go with the "orator" or the "Maverick", Darth Vader or Alfred E. Neuman, Paper or plastic?

I watched the first 30 or so minutes of Obama's acceptance speech last week with my friend over in Boston while we played "Take a Drink everytime he says "Change" or bashes Bush...we soon realized that a) there was not enough beer in the house and b) we were tired. I am not going to even watch McCain, I have better things to do like count the dust bunnies around my bed or put together my spin list so I can torture my 5:30 am Spin class tomorrow. I can tell you what his speech is going to be without hearing it: Obama is unprepared to lead, McCain is a war vetern and will take on the Washington D.C. establishment. Then I would have to sit through the pundits and spin doctors getting their rocks off

Long story short:
Whoever wins in November the nation loses and the big winner in all of this is the Companies that sold the balloons and confetti to both parties


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